Justin as a name seemed fitting for my tumour- annoying but nonetheless stuck in my head.
Tomorrow is Justin's farewell concert: that is he's getting removed and well I am bricking myself.. I am absolutely terrified. I've had about a month to get use to the idea that my new deafness wasn't hereditary, earwax, blocked sinus or caused by one too many times standing by a night club speaker, it was a nasty disgusting brain tumour thing called an epidermoid.
Apparently Justin Bieber's been squatting in my head since birth and its taken 33 years to make a difference and what a difference he's made.
I can't really hear properly in my left ear, I mean I can hear noises and mumurs but I can't really distinguish much. When I put a phone to my left ear the person on the other end sounds like a slow mo man robot. Its made all social situations a blast- If I am not looking directly at a person while they're talking to me then I'm a lost cause.
And loud music- forget it altogether. It can throw we so off balance I have to walk out doing some sort of interpretive wobbly knee- I need someone to hold my hand to guide me outta here dance which is well when sober quite embarrassing.
I don't know if I'll regain any hearing in it now, the new neurosurgeon I met last week during my preadmission appointment, said I wouldn't and boy that was a bad day. I am a little bit hopeful though, I read other blogs of other people's experience with this kind of tumour and some have regained their hearing so you know fingers crossed and fingers crossed the only thing I need to worry about in the hospital is if I get jelly for dessert....
No comments:
Post a Comment